Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
