Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
There r osticjed everywhere
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
