You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
