She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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