she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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