you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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