Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize