he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
