Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
He felt like a one man threesome
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You're a waste of cheezeits
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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