Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
