Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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