he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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