carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
