...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
