Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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