i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
