You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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