She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Just puked most of my soul out..
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
