it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
