I'd wear matching sweaters with you
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
