Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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