Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
