I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
