I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
