I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
