first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
