If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
