I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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