Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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