My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
