Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
