it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
