This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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