So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
