My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
