I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
