Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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