Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
