'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
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