I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I need to align my fucking chakras
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
