If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
