your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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