he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
