none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
