Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
