hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
