Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
so let's talk penis.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Randomize
