I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
We are all done wearing pants today
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
