I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
