: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
