I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
