This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
