I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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