I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
