I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize