You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
