i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
